Sexual Purity – Part 4

  1. Obedience to God always brings reward
  2. The longer you go without any kind of sexual stimulation the more satisfying will be the actual experience of it….  if/when  you partake.
  3. The longer you go without any kind of sexual stimulation the easier it is to continue without any….  meaning, your temptation decreases with continued abstinence.
  4. You cannot succeed in avoiding it IF you are constantly thinking about it therefore you need to find ways to divert your thoughts… ways that actually WORK for you.

For those of you who just joined us…. we are discussing Sexual Purity for Christian teenage boys…. and the above 4 points are absolutely TRUE.

In Part 4, of this 4 part series, we consider those who have FAILED in these areas….. and we also consider the path to a happy marriage ordained by GOD.

If you have accustomed your body to sexual activity withdrawal will require determination and lots of self-control, and possibly, spiritual battle.

points to consider:

  1. All you past mistakes are FORGIVEN if you have confessed and repented of them.
  2. Any future failure  can also be forgiven…. therefore  IF you should sin at any point do NOT GIVE UP…. just continue to overcome your obstacles one by one.

God has a girl just for you….. but you CANNOT FIND HER without His help and furthermore He may test your PATIENCE and OBEDIENCE in the process.

  1. You should explain to any girlfriends the importance of God in your life (2 Corinthians 6:14) and your reason for avoiding sexually tempting situations and she should have these same concerns and values also.
  2. When/If  you discover that a girl is NOT suitable for you, you MUST “DUMP” her PROMPTLY …. ask God for help and try to do it GENTLY by explaining to her the incompatibility and problems that you have with her…. trust me, it is  FAR EASIER to DUMP a girl if you have NOT had sex with her (which hopefully will be the case).
  3. If you genuinely feel (after you have been seeing a girl for some time) that it’s time for marriage…. you should seek God’s verdict and NOT BE AFRAID to put HIS decision in place….  I cannot tell you how to “be sure” of His will, but I used the “fleece” test with miraculous results (Judges 6:37-40)

How to handle a “horn” ?

Perhaps the girl DUMPS you first…. this is quite hurtful to ego of boys… but you must take it to God and remember that EGO is NOT a good thing…. it is what caused sin in the first place ! … learning HUMILITY can be a painful experience but God will help you, IF you let Him.

Look on the positive side …. better for  her to dump you now than after marriage….  God has helped you with your decision by showing you that she was not the right one…. she does not deserve you….

The hardest part could be embarrassment from friends…. but if you have been WITNESSING constantly…. then most of your friends  will probably be Christians anyway and so they will console and comfort you in your “loss”.

Sexual Purity – Part 3

This is Part 3 of the notes I made for a talk I delivered on sexual purity to the teenage boys of the ISCF Leadership Training Camp.

The most frequent question I get:…    Is masturbation a sin or not ?

There is NOT A SIMPLE ANSWER…. Romans 14:22 tells us that ANYTHING at all can be SIN…. ‘because whatever is not of faith is sin’…. and even “morally neutral” stuff can be sinful under certain circumstances….. for examples: eating too much food or drinking too much wine.

Some  Christians believe masturbation is a sin (and for them it would be a sin ) because their conscience would  convict them if they did it.

This is something that only God can show to each person individually….  the Bible does not discuss it…..  and certainly, to my mind, if God condemned it (like murder, fornication or covetousness)  then He would have said so in the Bible and in more than one passage also !

Therefore my position is,  that the physical act is no different than an “involuntary” wet-dream…. the “sinfulness” of masturbation is in the THOUGHTS and INTENTS of the heart.

So whether  it is sinful FOR YOU… depends on…

The reason WHY you are masturbating and WHAT  you are thinking about when doing so.

Like drinking alcohol it can become an addiction for certain people, therefore it would be best to avoid it altogether to eliminate this potential risk…. but WHY NOT LET GOD GUIDE YOU ? (He would know whether it will become a “snare” for you or not)…. the Christian life is NOT about simply “do’s” and “dont’s”….. it is a relationship with GOD and THAT is what you should want most of all !

Sexual sin is the number one reason why teenagers abandon God.

Sexual sin is Satan’s most successful  weapon against Christians.

Masturbation can lead you on to sexual sin…. unless you guard your THOUGHTS and live close to the LORD.

Can you masturbate without lust ?… without viewing pornography ? …. without thinking about sex with other people  ?

It IS possible to do this…. but can YOU do this ?   If not, masturbation will cause you to sin and make you feel very guilty afterwards.

Another reason why it’s not a good habit to start is that after years of masturbating you may find it hard to please your wife (when you eventually marry her) by then you  will have grown totally accustomed to pleasing yourself.

Personal pleasure is not sinful…. but it becomes sinful  when it affects others negatively and when it becomes too important in your life (constantly seeking personal pleasure means it has become an IDOL in your life… and if this happens it will affect your relationship with God).

Let GOD direct your sex life ….. just like you would let him direct your choice of career or your use of time…. putting GOD first in your life is the goal as a Christian youth !

Sexual Purity – Part 2

This 4 part series on Sexual Purity consists of  the notes I made for a talk I delivered on the same topic to the teenage boys of the ISCF Christian Leadership Summer Camp.

Based on the overwhelming interest shown in my previous posts on Masturbation and Sex, I decided to share the series with you.

Physical Pressure

The need for sexual release in males is greatly exaggerated by “worldly” people…. The body will release semen during sleep, if necessary (this is called a “wet dream”, although it is possible for it to happen with no dream at all).  The timing varies from boy to boy, some experience this as often as twice a week and some as rarely as once in two months, a few say they have never had any at all. The volume of semen that any individual “manufactures” varies widely from person to person, from a few drops to a tablespoonful or more, therefore boys that produce more are likely to have more frequent (and more “messy”) “wet dreams”.

Other factors that affect the frequency of “wet dreams”:

  1. Guys who are focused on sex  will get more frequent wet dreams.
  2. Guys who are focused on physical activities and sports will get less wet dreams.
  3. Guys who masturbate according to a regular cycle can arrange it so they never get  any wet dreams .

Mental Pressure

The mental pressure is usually  more of a problem than the physical pressure…. It’s time to learn to control your thoughts  and focus on Jesus…. also STAY AWAY from all


Repeatedly viewing pornography leads to double addiction to both pornography and masturbation because the two will get linked together…. in some people that’s not enough  and they get more and more desperate for the “real” action.

Since the internet was invented, porn addiction is VERY common for males of all ages because of the easy access to continuous stream of “new”  material…..  demons know how easy it is to get porn-addicted boys to ENGAGE IN ALL SORTS OF IMMORALITY….  and there are boys (right here in Barbados) who are so “hot” they are on the continuous look-out  for an opportunity, ready to take  on almost anyone if asked (once it can all be done without anybody ever finding out)…..  how did they end up this way ??

It starts by  feeding their mind on gross and disgusting pornography…. in many cases, the  images go  way beyond  any “normal” or  “decent” sex.

Rapists, serial killers and child molesters have all confessed that their whole “problem” began with viewing pornography….. which gradually progressed to more bizarre and “shocking” images (scenes of bestiality, orgies and sadistic violence)

Read Philippians 4:8 and remember what I told you about controlling your thoughts  (2 Corinthians 10:5)

Keep away from people, places and situations that are causing you to experience sexual temptation…..  fill your mind with  wholesome interests….. various hobbies, sports or church activities.

Even  if it’s hard to overcome sexual urges immediately…. RESIST and continue to divert your mind to wholesome activities and interests….. and you have my  assurance that  it will get easier  and easier once you PERSEVERE.

What is the alternative ?   living with the following:

  1. Sexual images flashing through your mind at all the wrong times…. like during church or when praying to God.
  2. Viewing everybody in a sexual way and mentally undressing everyone
  3. Ashamed of your own thoughts, you try to cover up all this  sexual lust so that nobody will ever find out what you are REALLY like inside.

If  you have ever experienced any of this for yourself , you need to know that  YOU ARE NOT ALONE….  LOTS of people … even Christian people… have this problem but they are too ASHAMED to admit it…. so they struggle on “making the best of it”…. that’s not what Jesus wants for you…. He wants joy and peace in your heart, and that’s better for your physical well being also !

Sexual Purity – Part 1

Marriage is of God

The plan of God for the continuation of the human race and a SPIRITUAL example of the relationship between God and Israel and Christ and the Church

Genesis 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Jeremiah 3:20 “Surely, as a wife treacherously departs from her husband, so have you dealt treacherously with Me, O house of Israel, says the LORD”

Isaiah 54:5 “For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is His name; and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth.

Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her.”

See also 2 Corinthians 11:2

Benefits of a loving marriage…. Statistics show that persons in a long time loving marriage actually LIVE LONGER than “swingers” , prostitutes and homosexuals.

But this should not be a surprise, because the Bible says, “…. He who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.” (1 Corinthians 6:18) and  “likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.” (Romans 1:27).

There is peace of mind for the man who does not have to spend his life hunting  around for his next “sexual encounter”… moreover it is a great comfort to have someone who cares about you and will look after your food, clothes and household duties and welcome you home after your workday. “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.” (Proverbs 18:22)

“Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.” (Proverbs  19:14)