My life was not joyful…..  nor was I finding peace….. it seemed as though I was in more problems than before I surrendered to God and I was often times filled with FEAR….. horrible, irrational fear than was causing me stress and depression…. a terrible weight of gloom that I could neither explain nor shake off…. I would have brief moments of peace and joy when I read certain scripture or the encouraging words of a hymn or was around other Christians at church …. and then the gloom and depression would return.

I had become listless… not really having much interest in doing anything… and it began to affect my body, I lost weight and my heart would be racing and my body would be aching.

I was really upset because I KNEW with my MIND that God was caring for me…. answering my prayers…. blessing me in so many ways…. I should be able to “shake off” this awful mental condition and I could not understand why I simply could not make it “go away” permanently and for good.

I had always felt I had a “strong” mind…. stronger than most people….. but now my mind was working against me and I did not seem able to stop it……. I was completely MISERABLE without a valid reason even though I knew my life and circumstances were blessed.

The pastor advised me to stop struggling and simply give it all to God…. and he was right….  I had to stop feeling that I was alone in struggling with this…. I had to start PRACTICING THE PRESENCE OF GOD….. I had to BELIEVE that GOD was right there with me (not someplace far off and distant in heaven)…..  I had to believe that He was able and willing to help me….. I had to rely on His strength  moment by moment and everytime “symptoms” would manifest in my body or thoughts would panic me or the gloom and despair would oppress me…. I would conciously tell myself He is WITH ME, He is CARING FOR ME and He has not abandoned me to evil….. I can tell you it was great comfort to know that He is with me and looking after me.  (1 Peter 5:7,  Philippians 4:4 – 7)

The evil spirits make you believe that

1. They have the power to oppress you and make your life a living hell.

2. God is “allowing” them to do this to you because He is a hard taskmaster…. and you need to be taught some lessons and receive some punishment for your past wickedness…..  God is not going to deliver you (else He would have done so already)… they want you to belive Acts 9:16 is written specifically for you….. they want you to know that you may go to heaven by-and-by,  but right now, they can make your life a living hell-on-earth, so that you will regret the day that you decided to “come back to God” and get back to your happy-go-lucky sinful lifestyle (where you had no worries before).

IF YOU BUY THESE DEMONIC LIES….. God will still take care of you…. but instead of Joy you will have Anguish…. instead of Peace you will have fear, torment and distress…. and it will spill over into the physical body… as you lose sleep….. and the constant tension and mental turmoil affects your digestion and brings your whole body under incredible stress……  YOU CANNOT AFFORD for this condition to continue longterm and become CHRONIC.

THESE DEMONIC LIES….. blind you to the reality of how much GOD LOVES YOU……Romans 8:35 – 39 …. and  how much He wants to HELP YOU….. 2 Chronicles 16:9  …. I would not wish anybody to have to go through the torment that I have been through…… but to some extent it was MY FAULT….. I had to learn how to use the Word with power and internalize the wonderful promises of God which He has given us in His Word, the Bible, and it contains  COMFORT and DELIVERANCE from evil…..  but we MUST BELIEVE…. we must internalize the Word so that it becomes REAL for US.

WE give the evil spirits the hold that they have over us by believing them…. rather than believing and trusting God’s Word and His Character.

But you know what ? If my horrible experiences can HELP SOMEBODY TODAY to draw closer to Jesus then it was all worthwhile…… because ministering to the needs of others who are going through similar stuff is so much more meaningful when we have also experienced it ourselves.

Remember, even if you think God is being harsh with you… what other choices do you really have ?…. realistically…… you are not going to get a “trouble free” life doing your own thing or even, serving satan because satan is a liar, any promises he makes are not reliable or else will contain hidden caveats….  John 6:67 – 69

In the final analysis, GOD is your maker and the only sensible choice is to TRUST and OBEY Him…… it is for your good……  HE IS GOOD……  any conception you may have of “goodness” is just a reflection of Him…… without the knowledge that HE has placed within you…. you would not even know what “good” is !